Sex Jokes Collection 1
Posted by OnionHead89 | Labels: Sex Jokes | Posted On Saturday, August 22, 2009 at 3:06 PM
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: "Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!"
---
While making love,
he says: "Darling, let's do 68!"
- "68??? What's that?"
"You do it to me and I'll owe you one."
---
Wife and husband bought condoms with different flavors.
"Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavor."
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- "Gorgonzola!"
"Wait, it is not on yet."
---
A little boy asked his mother:
"Mummy, why are you white and I am black?"
- "Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark."
---
One woman stops a taxi.
- "To the airport, please."
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror,
he says: "You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- "Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant."
"Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither."
---
One man calls emergency:
"Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
"It is OK, I found another one."
---
Two friends:
"Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?"
- "Of course! How many people are coming?"
"Three, if you bring your girlfriend."
---
Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
"Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls."
- "You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it."
After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
"Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?"
- "Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore."
The husband: "Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!"
---
While making love,
he says: "Darling, let's do 68!"
- "68??? What's that?"
"You do it to me and I'll owe you one."
---
Wife and husband bought condoms with different flavors.
"Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavor."
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says:
- "Gorgonzola!"
"Wait, it is not on yet."
---
A little boy asked his mother:
"Mummy, why are you white and I am black?"
- "Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark."
---
One woman stops a taxi.
- "To the airport, please."
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror,
he says: "You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
- "Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant."
"Well, you haven’t arrived to the airport yet neither."
---
One man calls emergency:
"Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!"
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
"It is OK, I found another one."
---
Two friends:
"Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?"
- "Of course! How many people are coming?"
"Three, if you bring your girlfriend."
---
Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
"Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls."
- "You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it."
After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
"Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls?"
- "Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore."
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